Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
