big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
