we have officially lost it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i dont even know how to be here
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
