You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My breasts were aching with rage.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
