If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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