He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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