Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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