Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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