thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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