Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
