You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
