I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
