Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
