Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
