addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
