We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
