ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
