New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize