i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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