She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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