If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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