went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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