So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it glows. i had to have it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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