i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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