Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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