Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
