a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
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I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
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the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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