Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Randomize
