Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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