So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Randomize
