pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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