the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
My vagina just clenched in fear
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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