yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You need Xanax blowdarts
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
