I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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