Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
