saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
