Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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