No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
