I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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