I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize