So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
