Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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