My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
