I'm gonna have a badass scar
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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