is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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