I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
