Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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