Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
