Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
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I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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