The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
