You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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