We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
