I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
