haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
