That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
